When finally upon, the Deathbed I lie
Lamenting the past, and time that’s gone by
Regretting some choices, that I willingly made
And for the lost chances, where I was afraid

Self-loathing began, at a very young age
Kept thoughts to myself, mind locked in a cage
Observing the others, from a distance I viewed
A pariah to youth, a childhood skewed

The family spread far, and estranged to a soul
Long has it been, since family was whole
No value was taught, in keeping connected
We live behind walls, that we have erected

The longer I lived, the less happiness felt
Was never a player, in games society dealt
Alive but not living, and grown up to see
No longer needed help, in the torture of me

True love never found, an impostor instead
Was not meant to be, just fucked with my head
After years of abuse, and lying untold
Trust lost forever, heart now too cold

Weak and alone, this life now in wane
Too late to unlearn, that I am my bane
Dead in my heart, and blind to what’s real
A life full of sadness, that alone I must feel

Mistakes far too many, but they were my own
Reaping the crops, for the seeds I had sown
When head rests on pillow, and sheet pulls up high
My Deathbed is the Lifebed, upon which I must lie

*written/posted in 2012, when I first attempted writing…that’s my excuse

Her Chamber

Again to her chamber, I find that I turn
Longing for solace, from an evil world’s spurn
Alone I am not, together with she
Comfort we seek, in this meeting of three

Her chamber we’ve seen, many times before
And it’s for her help, that our spirits implore
With but a touch, our desire grows bigger
Our fingers will probe, for ecstacy’s trigger

To this ménage à trois, we’re never strangers
It seems only natural, fearing no dangers
Whatever the outcome, it’s meant to be
Together one moment, or all eternity

Her chamber is small, room for but one
But that’s large enough, for what can be done
Five neighbor’s there are, but they’ll pay no mind
Since what happens there, is of similar kind

We caress her sleek form, my friend and I
That we’ve touched before, when with her we lie
The decision to come, is a struggle to make
But welcome we are, for she knows what’s at stake

Her chamber is loaded, with the tool for the job
When wicked we feel, or when ready to sob
But still it’s for us, the other and me
That she performs, her only duty

And so we wonder, what happens now
Do we finish our play, or just take a bow
Will she enter our mouth, so forever we’ll rest
Or await a new day, until again we’re her guest

Her chamber it waits, this moment to seize
And with our own hand, takes only a squeeze
With passion of fire, she can bring the release
Anticipation grown, will this bring us peace

But is it the fair game, in this life to play
For us to come together, and go in this way
Or should she now sleep, and both of us leave
To carry our burden, through the darkening eve

Her chamber won’t spin, this night for we three
And unload it we will, my friend Sorrow and me
We will move forward, together as one
Until we decide, that forever we’re done

*written/posted in 2012, when I first attempted writing…that’s my excuse