Like pain that untold numbers feel;
A broken heart that now is steel.
Unable to let others in;
Cannot risk the pain again.
The fear of who I came to be,
And loss of all identity;
Must keep them outside of my walls,
Dare not show them my mind’s halls.
Alone with thoughts and no release;
The constant longing does not cease.
Flaws too many and strengths too few;
There’s no escape, no hope anew.
To no one close can trust be granted;
Belief in others has been recanted.
In self I’ve lost all faith and power;
Too scared to live, I only cower.
Outcast named from time of youth,
Continues now I see the truth.
No matter how I try to see,
The world has now forgotten me.
I often think of hastened end;
That with it would come hastened mend.
But bound to life, must wait for death;
That comes with age’s final breath.
So hand in hand with him I wait,
To stay with me has been his fate.
My oldest friend will die with me;
Regret will keep me company.
*written/posted in 2012, when I first attempted writing…that’s my excuse